I am super excited about the conversations we have had on social media around Mentorship, Management, and Motherhood (the best hood)! I can honestly say that I have and continue to grow and develop in each of these areas. I am always working to become a better mentee, mentor, mother, and manager.
Surprisingly, out of this list, I have the most experience in Management and feel most comfortable here. This may be because I had management opportunities early in my career and learned some tough lessons from FALLING FLAT ON MY FACE! Like seriously, I made some tragic mistakes. Fortunately, my mistakes did not cost much more that a lot of embarrassment. Let’s side track a little while I tell you about one of those moments…
I remember (so vividly) being a manager at a restaurant in the very hip area of Buckhead in Atlanta. The restaurant was always busy and I had the privilege of being the bar manager. Before joining the team, the bar staff was established and had a very strong culture. I remember trying to put my big girl pants on to hold a bartender accountable for a vital part of his job. This GROWN MAN yelled at my young twenty something self in the middle of the bar. I proceeded to raise my voice and storm off. I went to the office and CRIED (like boo hooed)!
Funny story right! WRONG! Of course, the bartender was wrong in how he responded. Years later, I choose to be self-reflective and think about the MANY ways I could have handled that situation differently. Now that I know better, I have a different perspective on what holding someone accountable looks like. In addition, my communication was all wrong. I had not learned to adjust the communication to fit that individual or culture. Now with years of experience managing people, there are several lessons I wish I could have taught myself as a first time manager. Maybe I can do that for someone else. Here are five skills that I think anyone preparing for in a first time management role should assess:
1. Communication- I think this is the most important of the skills. We could talk communication for days, but as it relates to being a first time manager; it is vital to understand the communication style of each team member and be able to adjust messaging and tone accordingly. We all know that email and text is not the best form of communication to read tone and body language. PLEASE tell me why we keep ignoring this warning. It is as if we can see the orange cones and caution tape saying “DON’T SEND THAT MESSAGE, CALL THEM OR SCHEDULE A MEETING.” We hit send anyway and potentially set a relationship on fire. Stop, just stop.
2. Delegation-We were recognized for our good work and experience, which is why we are now in management roles. It is time to let go some of the tasks and responsibilities that made us successful and take on some new challenges. It’s important to empower our team members to learn and grow and we can do this by delegating responsibilities.
3. Be a team player-Now I just talked about delegation, and there is a fine line from delegating to dumping. If your team members feel like you have dumped all of the crappy work and they have no idea what you do all day…You got #2 wrong. Your team members should feel like at any time, you are there to roll up your sleeves and get dirty if necessary to meet a goal or you can come alongside them and solve a problem together. You are not in an ivory tower looking down on them.
4. Accountability-It is important to the entire team that a manager understands how to hold team members accountable. Have you ever set goals as and no one ever followed up on your progress…I have. This is probably a recent lesson that I learned. If week after week, your team is not getting tasks completed and goals accomplished; have you worked together to agree on deadlines?
5. Feedback-Yes, it is a gift that we love and hate. I think that feedback can be a new manager’s best friend and it goes both ways. Managers should regularly give feedback to their team members (not wait for the ceremonial annual review). Even more importantly, managers should be able to ask for and receive feedback. Questions like, “Is this working for you? How would you like our meetings to go? What is your preferred communication style?” are helpful ways to get feedback. Get feedback as early in the relationship as possible and you will see trust develop quicker.
This is just five of the many skills necessary to be successful in managing people. I am sure if you ask 10 managers, you would get a variety of answers on their top five. I hope saves someone from experiencing the many mistakes and embarrassing moments that I lived through. Check out my video on Facebook and join the conversation. What would you add to this list?
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